Time or Boredom, Which Comes First?

Time, has no taste, smell, touch, sight or sound, but it can effect your thoughts. Time can be useful if you need more of it to finish something. Time can also be negative, if you don’t know what to do with it. 

Lately, (for the past year), I have had an abundance of time, time to contemplate the direction of the rest of my life. Although it has been uneventful and at times disguised itself as suffering.

Are you leading the life you want? Do you have time for coffee, wine or a martini? We can meet at Trader Joe’s and discuss the direction of our lives?

When you find yourself stuck in life, do you go shopping, have a beer, mow the yard, eat-cream, or get a massage? Women typically go shoe shopping and men watch sports on TV with their hand in their pants. What are they doing?

I thought if I lived in a bigger home, I would be happier. They say (whoever they are) the kitchen is the heart of the home. My kitchen would be best described as a small toe.  I can barely move around in it, it’s probably too small for a “tiny home”!

Envisioning a garage spacious enough to accommodate me and my mini cooper, would be dream. It’s a good thing I am slender, (isn’t that a weird word, slender?) Although, one must be flexible in order to open the car door, sucking in the stomach while tucking the tush under the hips to scoot sideways between the car and the garage wall, without breathing until reaching the door leading into the home. It is an exhausting feat.

When I invite people over, I stagger them in shifts to prevent overcrowding.  Most of my entertaining is done on the outside patio in case everyone shows up at the same time, we can spill over onto the driveway. It’s my redneck yacht club, even though there is no water. Waterviews are expensive, but my imagination makes up for it. (hmmm, that’s an understatement and subject for a different time).

This past week I imagined my new home and gourmet designed kitchen with a shiny granite island large enough for friends and family to easily gather while sharing yummy food and funny stories. The outdoor living space offered a variety of inviting places to relax, including a  screened porch with stone fireplace or an outside pavered patio sitting on comfy oversized furniture, sipping wine around a firepit.  Soft music flowing from strategically placed speaker rocks, mixed together with my lush and colorful tropical landscaping.  Ah, happiness had finally arrived.

The next morning, the kitchen would be a mess, the garbage disposal would be clogged.  I could only imagine one of my well hydrated girlfriends who mistakenly thought she was a wine connoisseur, spilling her glass of Bordeaux all over my new white sofa. And if that wasn’t bad enough, her uncontrollable laughter leading to urinary incontinence was not something my guests found funny.  My imaginary happy home was not making me feel very happy.

The decision to move to a bigger home full of happiness or stay in my little shoe box home caused me to look at myself differently. I realized I was the problem, not my garage, or my kitchen built for one, but me. I am one powerful woman!

Time became my boredom, the boredom became my restlessness, then I was worn out.  Once I disconnected and disengaged myself from the conflict, I became still and quiet.  My solitude created an environment to observe my deeper thoughts, clear thoughts.  I am convinced, I am certifiably nuts, but I realized my decision to purchase a new “happy home” was not in alignment with my personal priorities in life, it was completely the opposite.

True freedom and getting beyond boredom http://www.katinkahesselink.net/tibet/boring.html

My desire and will to want something I don’t have, only took me away from where I really am. I’m fortunate to be exactly where I am. Time can be a magical teacher, if you take the time to stop and do nothing.

Image credit- Luchino Visconti, Italian Film Director



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