While sitting in the Doctor’s office this morning I was so excited I had actually remembered to bring a book to read. (There’s something gross to me about touching the magazines in the waiting room. You never know about strangers and their hygiene practices, or lack there of)
“I cannot understand my own behavior. I fail to carry out the very things I want to do, and find myself doing the very things I hate…for although the will to do what is good is in me the performance is not” —Romans 7:15,18
Can you relate to that? Some days I am ready to conquer the world and then by 8am, I’m over it! But, that’s okay, because when that happens, I find myself at peace, in my own little world. Is that so bad?
What I have personally experienced by losing a sense of power and living without the ability to manage my own schedule and circumstances, I make more space and time for accepting life as it is. I don’t have to rush around like a maniac, or worry about what to say to clients that are upset and moody. (Trust me, there are a lot of moody people) I just learn to “let it go”.
Prison can also teach you to “let go”. You are powerless, so you don’t find it necessary to finagle your own way, or control things. The guards have the keys, which means they have the power. I actually found a sense of freedom with that.
“New Seeds of Contemplation”, written by Thomas Merton will awaken your mind, if you are willing. Let me share excerpts of his writings…. read it slowly and think about it.
What is serious to men is often very trivial in the sight of God…and if we could let go of our own obsession with what we think is the meaning of it all, we might be able to hear His call and follow Him in His mysterious, cosmic dance. When we are alone on a starlit night; when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children; when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet Basho we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash–at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the “newness,” the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.
I believe just like Thomas Merton when he says, ” the fact remains that we are invited to forget ourselves on purpose, cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the general dance”.
“New Seeds of Contemplation”, may not be the type of book you tend to read, but that’s what I’m for, to share my books with others. (By the way I sat for over an hour waiting to see the Doctor) I should have billed him for my time!
S-t-r-e-t-c-h yourself…let it go, Holly