Match.com first dates are awkward. Just because he dresses well, does that mean you share your most personal moments with him? Do you ask personal questions, or do you listen to him… talk about him. LOL
Last weekend’s date went well, so I thought. We met at an upscale restaurant and had easy conversation. He was a proud father of grown children (yay, grown!), family oriented, well educated, health conscious and in great shape. He didn’t appear helpless.
Here is the tricky part; he didn’t ask me personal questions, therefore my stay in Alderson Federal Prison Camp, never came up. There was one tinny-winy, little-wittle opening, and then poof it was gone.
In the past, I have been completely transparent, feeling as if I needed to tell new friends and dates about my recent journey….”Hello it’s nice to meet you, and for the record, I’m a felon and served time in a Federal Prison, you cool with that”? Shezzzzzz. Talk about an ice-breaker.
The next day, the inquiring minds of my family wanted to know if I told him about ….”you know…” “No, it never came up”, I said. Eyebrows lifted (no, Botox there) and heads tilted as if to say, hmmmm. So I said, “Why, was I supposed to”? The votes were tallied and the overwhelming majority vote was a “NO”.
One family member said, “Well, what are you supposed to do, announce it everywhere you go”? “Sound the trumpets”! I didn’t feel I was hiding anything, it’s posted on Facebook, plus I have a website, I speak publicly about it and I have this blog, Freedom speaker….right?
The day after the date, my dad asks if I heard from Mr. Match.com. (It’s such a crummy question, because if you have it’s cool, but if you haven’t it’s strange) “nope, I haven’t, it’s cool, though”. LOL
Finally I felt as if I was getting back to normal, getting myself back and not feeling the need to explain my past. Liberating, exhaling, refreshing….ah…. For your record, when I was in prison, I used to call it an “unhook the bra and fling across the compound moment”. (the bra’s were very uncomfortable, Victoria’s Secret, was a secret).
Then I get a text message. Probably my daughter sending me a photo of her dog, or my son, asking if I gave medicine to his dog, or my other son wanting to know if I was cooking dinner for everyone tonight.
TEXT MESSAGE (my reactions in parenthesis)
Text- You came up on Facebook today, “people you may know”. (deep inhale, yikes)
Text- So I looked you up. (OMG, my mug shot is beyond ugly, puffy eyes,looks criminal)
Text- You have an interesting past. (It’s over, I’m done, here comes have a nice life)
Text- You should be very proud of yourself for overcoming such adversity. (Jaw drops, disbelief, motionless)
Text- I’m lucky we met. (Slowly exhaling, long pause)
Imagine you had discovered your date had been in Federal Prison. What would you have thought, what would you have texted? Honestly, I would have blocked communication going forward. My shortsightedness has probably kept me from understanding and accepting many fascinating people. I’m glad I met someone who thought better than I would had.
The date went well and I was pleasantly surprised, Holly